It is often said, and perhaps cliched, that life is a journey without a destination, especially for those of us who are continually wandering and wondering. Anyone who has traveled extensively understands the stirring in the soul that type of journey brings and with every journey comes an anticipation of the next one. Fromm personal experience, every time I have returned from one journey, I could not wait for the next one, and truly it is the process and not the arrival that always excited me. In a more internalized approach, that same journey applies to the growth of the spirit and the soul.
Where does it begin? How does one overcome? Truly, how does one keep going? And how do you get back to a forgotten life?
Perhaps I over think this type of journey and how my soul has changed in the last 15 years or so, for really, as a teenager, while I thought I knew a lot... I knew nothing and had no clue about life. That is something I wish I understood then. At least now, I understand that I still understand so little even though I yearn to learn and understand so much, perhaps even too much.I think whenever I get a little arrogant about what I do know, I remember the person I was, and restrain myself... some.
I have to admit, I am not sure how I have moved on and kept going. Maybe I am just too willful at times, maybe I want to see things through. Or maybe, I have seen what lies in the deepest dark of the soul and realize I needed to do more to affect change in my spirit. Still, I simply have no choice in the matter. And the curious nature of my own self forces me to keep searching, to keep seeking. I only know that I have been so close to the precipice so many times and would have been ok to leap, but again, that would be the easy way. I could have given in to darkness (and no, not talking about suicide, a different kind of darkness), yet I did not. So, am I stronger? Or just desperate? I wonder if that is how evolution begins, though, being borne of desperation... I know it is borne of pain, that much is certain.
Strange that I would write something like this after a rather nice weekend, but I had been meaning to write this for some time. I guess today was as good a time as any. Have a great week all and keep searching and striving.
C.
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3 comments:
I have often changed my path, every 3 - 4 years or so. Otherwise, I get rather bored with life. I do think that the willingness to change makes us stronger, and quite frankly, more interesting.
I'm with you here... I get bored too easy myself. I do love a change of scenery... I am sure I am part gypsy, at least cosmically :)
I think so, but sometimes it is trying... though life is supposed to be. But it has it's moments, and those are usually worth it :)
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