03 March 2007

Life, The Universe And Other Mundane Things That Might Or Might Not Equal 42....

With a title like that, expect some rambling :)

As I roam the blogsphere, -nation, -ville, etc, I am always struck by the infinite variety of the way things are said, though not necessarily what is said. In the end, most blogs I have read do boil down to the every days of life. This, of course, is not altogether bad, not by any stretch of the imagination. Indeed, it makes me wonder about my writings from time to time. I see so many good people writing about what is good, bad or indifferent in their lives, and see it so often that I am concerned if I have a life at all. Of course, though I have become more and more ascetic (though not necessarily sedentary... so I suppose I would have been a great traveling monk) toward materialism and culture in general, I still commiserate with humanity from time to time; however, I do think about what I might be missing sometimes. On the other hand, I have done a lot of living in these 34 years, so that is not all bad, but so much is left to be understood and so many places yet to go, and secrets to uncover, so to speak.

When I started this blog, I intended to use it as an archive for my writings and poems, and to consider the deeper questions in life, some philosophical, some political, and some historical, these being areas of training and delight in my life. I probably meant to add less lists and data concerning my life and interests, but those simply evolved thanks to my mood and seeing different memes around the blog. It also gave me something to fill up some empty space. I think that I feel a little disappointed if I am not adding an entry at least every couple of days, unless (like two weeks ago) I am unable to for connection reasons. And yet, I keep hearkening back to what I yearn for, a seeking of understanding greater than this simple shell, and not understanding from a religious or spiritual point of view (though some might call my quest spiritual of a sort), but an understanding of the universe as itself, as we are to it, and as it, and we were meant to be. Philosophical and metaphysical, certainly, but less a desire to know a 'god' but a desire to 'know', so more of a gnosis as opposed to apotheosis. What this also does is fuse many of the things I love into a single understanding: science, science fiction, history, philosophy, and to some extent, theology, all these things combine into seeking the heart of the universe without and within our not so mundane lives as we imagine.

Perhaps some higher understanding of self exists within the mundane acts of everyday. Maybe to seek, one has to live, not just in understanding, but in the world around us. I suppose that has always been my concern with monasticism. Originally, monasteries were created to save civilization, and they did to some extent. Later, they existed to set themselves apart from it, to achieve a higher sense of the divine. Supposedly, it works for them, but I wonder if it cut themselves off from the divine, the higher purpose of self in the ebb and flow of life. They lived outside of life, but maybe failed to understand that to understand the life, one has to simply live it. Or at least live it, and open oneself to understanding it.

So, by reading others and the details of their life, I am experiencing a higher understanding? Truly, I do not know, but while I appreciate the idea of ascetics from time to time, it does lack for experiential learning. I admit, if I had to choose between my travels and what I learned from them, or my book learning, it would be a tough call, but I would choose my travels, for the experiences have made me a better man, far better than simple words on a page, or a lecture in a classroom (and I suppose I should clarify on book learning, let us say outside of high school since up through that point, the basics of learning are indeed important). Of course, the fusion of both has been the better path, so I would rather continue along it. Indeed, I have never been so much at my best when I have been on the road, wherever it has taken me and will take me. I suppose that means I should travel more... perhaps, so long as I am seeking the same understanding of the life, universe, and other mundane things as I apparently have always sought :) Or maybe I should answer '42' and be done with it.

I guess I did not ramble tangential as much as I thought. Funny, when I think I am going to ramble, I often do not, and vice versa.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend, all.

C.

13 comments:

Sayre said...

With all that's been going on with me lately, I suppose I should be a wreck. I'm not. My husband paid me what I think may be the best compliment of my life today. I was sitting at the diningroom table after the real estate lady left with our counter offer and contemplating my afternoon when he came over to me, looked at me and said, "You are the only person I've ever known who lives so completely in the moment. You are always here for your life."

It is what I strive for. It is the way I want to live. I do what I can about what I can, but try not to worry too much over what cannot be helped. I plan for the future but don't worry about it. I look to the past but do not dwell on it.

I'm sure I've been here before and perhaps this time I've finally learned how to live my life. But if I have to come back again - well, so be it.

The ramblings of my blog reflect where I am. Sometimes it makes people laugh, sometimes it makes them cry, sometimes it's just what is. And when you're looking at a lot of people's "what is", sometimes you can connect with yourself all the more strongly.

Rambl-y enough for 'ya???? Hope your birthday was terrific!

SQT said...

I think what's amazing is not only what you learn about people from their blogs, but what people decided to make their blogs about.

I deliberately made mine less personal. I don't mind telling little bits about myself to people here and there, but I do like to keep the distance of anonymity between myself and others if I can. I think it's the best of all worlds. I get to meet and converse with new people without risk to me or my family.

That sounds dramatic, but I've had just enough weirdness in my life to justify it.

But the benefits are great. I talk to people I like and have adult conversation when I'm home with a 3 year old, it doesn't get any better than that.

ChickyBabe said...

I agree with you that life experience is more valid than learning through someone's blog, because more often than not, they do not provide the complete picture - they simply can't. I think the two can be complementary as blogs put us in touch with people we may either dismiss or not get a chance to meet, and that in itself is something worthwhile.

And for some things, the answer IS 42! :)

jedimerc said...

crud, blogger ate my comment... basically, I agreed with a lot of y'alls sentiments in posting and that certainly the blogs allow us to see others that we might not otherwise meet or perhaps even dismiss... I know it probably holds true with me, though I see a lot of people when I am at the shows.

As for anonymity, I think it has it's place and certainly, I encourage people to be as comfortable as they need to be, for we should be able to protect what we need to and reveal as much as we want... for my part, a good part of me is laid bare, though I hold back a little :)

And yes, Chicky, I certainly agree on 42, even if the question is convoluted some times :)

Anonymous said...

As I get older I get more suspicious of the grand plan idea. I believe not that the devil is in the details but that's were you find the wonder.

Travel does force yourself out of your 'box' but doesn't it also apply to people who visit my fair town? So if they can experience something more while visiting here, I should be able to the same while living here. Right?

jedimerc said...

I agree to that end as well, Phil... Absolutely. It does help that your fair town is more a haven for tourists, than say... mine. Unless you are from the South or South west, the D/FW area is usually an airport stopover rather than a vacation destination. I think living in a country that is a large tourist destination allows for more experiential things to occur. Of course, going to local anime shows lets me know for all my experience, even one such as I have much to learn :)

M said...

I think reading other blogs has given me a better understanding of myself rather than an understanding of the writer. I have a constant internal dialogue that happens when read a blog. I question myself by questioning my thoughts on what I read.

I think travel can do the same kind of thing. I always find part of myself in other places, but I guess when you travel you are forced to question. I agree with phil in that, you can do that anywhere - it's up to you though. I know there is a big difference when I live in Melbourne to when I really look at Melbourne.

MadameBoffin said...

I think you're right on about understanding life requires you to live it. Truer words haven't been said. I think scholarly inquiry and hypothetical thought are extremely value - they broaden our knowledge to beyond what we can directly experience and bring greater self-awareness but, like you say, there's a danger in removing yourself from the world and life you're trying to understand. Like everything else, a happy balance must be struck.

So where does that leave you? Are you happy with the way your life is? Happy about the blog you've created?

I think you're blog offers people something different and is particularly good for poetry lovers although, as a regular reader, I'd be more interested in hearing about you and what you're doing in your everday life than in your poetry (as good as it is). I'm hopelessly mired in the mundane over here and like reading about the mundane in others :D

jedimerc said...

m: I have a similar dialogue myself regarding blogs, though I want to understand the writer as much as I want to understand self, but that is a personal quest in any event... I agree on the travel as well... when I look at Texas from an outsider's perspective rather than my own biased one, I certainly see things differently :)

madameboffin: Thanks for asking :) I am happy with the blog as a whole, and I suppose I simply wanted to do things a little differently, try and set myself apart some, though I realise I don't have to so much. A lot of the poems are me as much as the mundane, but then some are just archives from a life best forgotten, or simply remembered.

I admit, I could be happier with my life, but considering all that I have done, I have few complaints... still one always needs to strive, to seek, and not to yield, to borrow from Tennyson.

Thanks for the questions... we all need them some time.

And thanks to all the responses (so far). I have really enjoyed the dialogue. You (the readers) are part of the reason I am so happy with my blog... I rarely express my gratitude to y'all, so... know I am :) Really, thanks.

Becky said...

I tend to avoid the "this is what I did today" unless it's really unique or something that's worth sharing. I think that everyone goes through their phases of what purpose their blog serves. Mine has definitely changed, depending on what's going on in my "real life," even if I don't specifically reference that anything is going on.

I envy your travels, and I would love to do that rather than just read about the places.

Anonymous said...

"So, by reading others and the details of their life, I am experiencing a higher understanding?"

or you just like living vicariously through others :P ... kidding. I have to admit that, much as I enjoy blogging and value the people I have met through it, given then choice between travelling, books and reading blogs, blogging would be the first to go.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Everyone blogs differently...but isn't every form of writing some release about what's going on in the world and the writers life?

jedimerc said...

becky: Can't argue with going to places described in travelogues and such. So many places I want/need to go... and I think that our blogs do change with the needs of our life. That is only natural, since many blogs are extensions of our own will, so to speak :)

rav'n: I agree too... this would be the first to go, and when traveling, I only stayed as connected as I necessarily needed to.

mistress: I think, to some degree. I am sure some writers just write without regard to such things... I couldn't do it, myself.