One Last Thing Before I Go...

Technically, I do not even leave the city until Friday morning, but I have to spend Thursday tidying up some issues regarding work and will not have good Internet access until I get to my sister's on Friday night. From there, I spend a couple of days with her in LA and I get on a plane Sunday night for a twelve hour sojourn that will put me in Auckland very early on the 16th, meaning I lose a day of my trip already. Such are the travails of crossing the international dateline. And while I will use the Internet on my trip, my main goal will be to use it to update anyone who wants to know if I am alive or have been mauled in a tragic sheep farm accident. I suspect the latter example might be a bit extreme, but one never knows... I hear sheep rule the country with an iron fist... or hoof, or something.

Some might feel it is convenient I am skipping town just as many of my friends are having to endure the brunt of a hurricane bearing down on them, most of you know I did not exactly use my crystal ball to foretell this scenario... hell, if I could see the future, well, probably best not to delve into such things. I understand many of you have a lot on your mind, and I suppose it is par for the course on my end. Regardless, I am leaving and while I might wish to quote 'LA Story' here and reference weather and life-changing and all that... such stories are for another time and for no one that wants to remember save this old fool, and then only peripherally.

Many of you might wonder why I am doing this. Others do not have to. Some may not care. Well, aside from concern, the only feelings in this that should matter are mine. To that end, I must apologize. If I am impractical, regardless of me going out and taking what I want, then so be it. If I am unsettled and unable to cope with certain things, then you truly do not know me. I have been practical, I have settled, and I do have coping mechanisms. Some of you knew me when I was married and mostly settled, others knew me as a wanderer abroad, and some met me later while I was still trying to regain what the world had stolen from me. I was willing to give and to settle once again, and gave until I could no more. And yet... it was not enough.

Therefore, I simply go because I must and because it is the right thing for me to do. It may not be right in the eyes of some, maybe even some wiser than I. All that is pointless. It is right for me... Do I have some regrets? A little... but no doubts this time. For me, the path is clear. I have no idea what awaits, but I am fine with the mystery. Story of my life anyways :)

In the end, you should all know I am not running, not even from myself. I am well past that... I am beyond so much I have difficulty explaining it. I have tried in previous installments and entries and I hope I can offer a glimmer of understanding for all of us, really. Maybe more of that understanding waits for me. Or, perhaps just a little peace... I know I have earned that at least.

So, for all our journeys, present and future, I offer an old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

C.